Tuesday 25 September 2012

High-Tech Cop

Not a great deal of detail, but I was a cop in a high-tech city, with police cameras everywhere. Nothing like Judge Dredd, in case you're wondering.

Obviously, it was my job to reduce crime, and to arrest any suspects discovered by the cameras.

For some reason, my only weapon was a metal bar or a cosh, while the criminals all had guns. Using some sort of incredible laser thing, though, the camera-cops could disable the guns, protecting me from harm. Which is nice.

There were a lot of people missing limbs and using prosthetics of various qualilty for some reason.

The dream ended with a particularly cocky son-of-a-bitch who couldn't speak English, and who pulled a gun on me (which was disabled before he attempted to fire three times). He was wearing yellow gang colours so it was fairly obvious he belonged to an out-of-town gang.

Once arrested and questioned he suddenly remembered he spoke English, albeit in a cocky manner. He was fairly aggressive and had to be subdued in the cell multiple times.

Oddly, the cell door did not lock down properly. The only lock on the door being a small, broken bolt-lock, and he wandered out to try to be "smart". I placed him back in the cell and started banging the wall shouting, "Lock down!" to get the attention of someone on the cameras to lock the door electronically, which they eventually did.

At this point my uncle turned up, who lived right next door to the cell (for some reason) and he asked if I could keep it down as he was tired, and started unlocking his front door. I apologised and informed him that it was necessary with "this one".

And then I woke up.

In hindsight (now that I'm awake), I think I would have to transfer this prisoner to a much more secure facility than what appeared to be a block of flats with a locking mechanism.

But what does it all mean?

Friday 6 July 2012

The Curious Case of The Synagogue and the Talking Mice

On a trip somewhere, I'm assuming Israel, we look at some old ruins. One of these old ruins is actually still in use as a synagogue or a place where deeply religious Jews stay, and is partly carved out of a hill or mountain.

We are greeted by a Rabbi in what appears to be an old classroom where he gives a presentation. I'm not taking a great deal of notice as I sit on the incredibly uncomfortable bench. It is cold here.

Later the Rabbi shows us around the sleeping quarters, which are via a number of cramped tunnels that we have to climb through into a dormitory, and have a look around at the old bunks.

I am amazed by the number of trained mice wearing strange little costumes that help to keep the place running. Eventually the mice and I have a nice conversation about how things are going around the synagogue.

Doesn't seem like much but I swear this dream lasted all night!

But what does it all mean?

Wednesday 4 July 2012

U.S.A. Trip

A small car full of friends (five in the car) are driving through the southern U.S.A. somewhere, although everywhere looks like England, and we pull into a petrol station. The petrol station looks a lot like a British one not far from where I am now.

My friend, the driver, starts filling up his car with petrol, and to help, I take another hose and insert it into the second filler hole (whatever it's called). This leads directly into the boot of the car and I watch as the boot fills with petrol. I splash a friend in the back seat because I'm a comedy genius and petrol definitely isn't dangerous.

My friend finishes filling the petrol tank and both pumps shut off, so I also have to stop filling the boot. I only got about three pints in their anyway.

We enter the shop to pay for the fuel and the people in the shop ignore us, and when trying to pay, give us horrible looks. I try to buy a delicious chocolate bar, but we do not feel welcome.

Something happened.... and we end up talking to some very attractive young girls, the daughters of the owner of the petrol station. The father comes out to keep an eye on us with his daughters on the forecourt. Three girls get in the car and end up coming with us. One is in the boot. The petrol has gone, for some reason. (The parcel shelf is not in the car and we have no luggage).

Somehow along the journey the girls get naked. I believe I undressed mine first. I don't like waiting for presents..

We pull over, and get some sleep.

We are woken by a state trooper banging on the window who peers in to see that we are all asleep and all the girls are naked. I don't know what happens but he buggers off.

Next scene we're asleep in a cabin on the floor. Presumably this is where we were staying that night. The girls are still naked, although the girl I'm with isn't covered very well by our measly blanket and I attempt to cover her to keep her warm and give her a nice cuddle. I'm nice like that.

I'm now detached from a character and watch as this same girl is lowered on some sort of stone lift, which appear to be the fireplace (no fire) down into a large room. There are stairs to the right and robots (like Cylons) patrolling the stairs. Nobody has yet heard the lift falling. I assume this is Hell (or an entrance to Hell).

The girl wakes up and gets off the stone lift and proceeds to look around. She sees the Cylon and is shocked by its appearance, who has still yet to have seen her. She returns to the stone lift which then begins to ascend.

This part of the story is promptly forgotten about.

I wake to find myself on a couch with my still beautiful and naked girl. We both decide it would now be a good idea to have sex. Of course, she's shaved and otherwise delicious.

All the time I am aware that her father is sat in a chair with a shotgun, but everyone else, who is also enjoying some carnal knowledge, is blissfully unaware so I continue.

One of the sisters notices her father and explains that they are looking after the young un, and a baby appears. People pretty much carry on what they're doing. The father doesn't say anything.

I was then woke up because some arse clart was ringing me.

But what does it all mean?



Friday 29 June 2012

I could be pregnant

In the early hours of this morning I started dreaming about my enormous stomach.

I remember thinking,

"Oh my Gott, what if I'm pregnant?

I've had unprotected sex recently and I wouldn't even know!"

I rose from R.E.M. sleep, barely, to note to myself that I,

"can't get pregnant, you fucking idiot!"

I then re-entered a lower level of consciousness.

But what does it all mean?

Thursday 28 June 2012

My mate's wife

Last night I dreamed that my friend's wife was very keen to have sex with me. It was a nice dream: she's a very attractive girl. Besides: I already have. She was very keen and I was very happy about this.

But what does it all mean?