The naked soldier

I had been accepted into the Army as a much younger, slimmer man. The training barracks where more like a school/college though and we even had lecturers.

I remember meeting my Sergeant a few times, and even the Lieutenant and possibly a Captain or a Major in his office, for normal things and to be asked if I would like to take part in something. I cannot remember what it was though I did agree. It may have been to attend a school/college!

My mind kept wandering in the one lecture I appeared to attend as she seemed to be waffling on about nothing. It was probably an English literature class as it had that sort of feel.

My touch screen computer was playing silly buggers at one point and she called for the "Computer Sergeant", which I hope I have made up.

The major recurring theme seemed to be that other than my satchel (something I have never owned), I was always naked when not in uniform, wandering the halls. Nobody seemed to mind, and some people even seemed to like this, which is definitely wishful thinking. It was all well groomed.

After a long, naked day I returned to my home where it appeared I was living with a friend. Another friend turned up, I don't know why she would, and one thing led to another. While I was desperately trying to get some sleep, but couldn't, they were desperately trying to create a new land-speed-sex record in another room. I'm quite disappointed I was not invited. This saddens me. He was making very odd noises indeed which both upset and entertained me. I have never heard him actually make noises like this, nor any normal human except on terrible American porn movies.

I eventually gave up and just wandered around the flat, naked again, obviously, wasting time, fully aware that I need my sleep because I'm in the military now! It was about 05:00 as I recall. It was very hot and very humid.

But what does it all mean?

U.S.A. Trip

A small car full of friends (five in the car) are driving through the southern U.S.A. somewhere, although everywhere looks like England, and we pull into a petrol station. The petrol station looks a lot like a British one not far from where I am now.

My friend, the driver, starts filling up his car with petrol, and to help, I take another hose and insert it into the second filler hole (whatever it's called). This leads directly into the boot of the car and I watch as the boot fills with petrol. I splash a friend in the back seat because I'm a comedy genius and petrol definitely isn't dangerous.

My friend finishes filling the petrol tank and both pumps shut off, so I also have to stop filling the boot. I only got about three pints in their anyway.

We enter the shop to pay for the fuel and the people in the shop ignore us, and when trying to pay, give us horrible looks. I try to buy a delicious chocolate bar, but we do not feel welcome.

Something happened.... and we end up talking to some very attractive young girls, the daughters of the owner of the petrol station. The father comes out to keep an eye on us with his daughters on the forecourt. Three girls get in the car and end up coming with us. One is in the boot. The petrol has gone, for some reason. (The parcel shelf is not in the car and we have no luggage).

Somehow along the journey the girls get naked. I believe I undressed mine first. I don't like waiting for presents..

We pull over, and get some sleep.

We are woken by a state trooper banging on the window who peers in to see that we are all asleep and all the girls are naked. I don't know what happens but he buggers off.

Next scene we're asleep in a cabin on the floor. Presumably this is where we were staying that night. The girls are still naked, although the girl I'm with isn't covered very well by our measly blanket and I attempt to cover her to keep her warm and give her a nice cuddle. I'm nice like that.

I'm now detached from a character and watch as this same girl is lowered on some sort of stone lift, which appear to be the fireplace (no fire) down into a large room. There are stairs to the right and robots (like Cylons) patrolling the stairs. Nobody has yet heard the lift falling. I assume this is Hell (or an entrance to Hell).

The girl wakes up and gets off the stone lift and proceeds to look around. She sees the Cylon and is shocked by its appearance, who has still yet to have seen her. She returns to the stone lift which then begins to ascend.

This part of the story is promptly forgotten about.

I wake to find myself on a couch with my still beautiful and naked girl. We both decide it would now be a good idea to have sex. Of course, she's shaved and otherwise delicious.

All the time I am aware that her father is sat in a chair with a shotgun, but everyone else, who is also enjoying some carnal knowledge, is blissfully unaware so I continue.

One of the sisters notices her father and explains that they are looking after the young un, and a baby appears. People pretty much carry on what they're doing. The father doesn't say anything.

I was then woke up because some arse clart was ringing me.

But what does it all mean?

My mate's wife

Last night I dreamed that my friend's wife was very keen to have sex with me. It was a nice dream: she's a very attractive girl. Besides: I already have. She was very keen and I was very happy about this.

But what does it all mean?